Posted by: Brian | April 4, 2008

Hamburger as Weapon

Two unusual hamburger stories this week, and no, they weren’t April Fool’s jokes.

In Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, a teen was charged with theft and fighting with police after stealing frozen hamburger patties and cough syrup from a grocery store. Police responded to a call late in the evening, after store security had stopped the boy. The kid continued fighting and eventually — you can probably see this one coming — doused him with pepper spray.

There are way too many directions I can take that one, folks, so I’ll just let it alone. But, very seriously, cough syrup?

Earlier in the week, the owner of a package store in Haverhill, New Hampshire was approached by a man who demanded a free Pepsi (I assume he didn’t ask for a Pepsi Free, although he could have been pulling a Marty McFly). When the store owner refused, the man threw a hamburger at him.

When the police arrived, how did they know there had been a hamburger used as a weapon? (I swear, this is not a joke.) Of course they found the hamburger and wrapper on the floor, and the store owner (who was not on the floor) with his glasses covered with mayonnaise.

Police were not able to locate the burger-thrower or his female accomplice.

People, people, people…  


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